I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize