Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
