Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
