Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
