I accidentally burped into my bong.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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