So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
