we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
