I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Randomize