I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
