yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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