you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
