I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
