We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
