is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
