TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
