is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
