How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
