I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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