went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
are you so shy because you have an std?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
