It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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