Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You're a disaster
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