Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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