ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
