You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
