how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
