Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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