She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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