i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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