I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize