I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
