Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize