I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She even gives head with a lisp.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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