so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
