Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
