where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Less talking, more tequila
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
