i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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