I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
