he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
