We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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