His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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