Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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