i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
wow bdsm is so cute
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
