giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
