Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize