maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
