the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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