its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
