i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
