Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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