Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
