just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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