Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize