So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
