We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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