I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
