I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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