she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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