I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
