You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
