Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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