Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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