Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
