HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
