she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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