The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
