I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
