He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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