I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
