bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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