Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize