He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
