you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
