Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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