so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
